Mother’s Day for the Bereaved Mom

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Molds of my hand and Junior’s hand. When the Child Life Specialist got ready to take Junior’s hand mold, he wouldn’t let my hand go, so we did the mold together. *He did the same thing with his daddy/my husband. 

Mother’s Day is here. The day when the world celebrates moms. And for many women whose children have passed away, myself included–Mother’s Day brings about challenges. We are mothers but our children live in Heaven while we live on Earth. In relationship terms: it’s complicated. And because of that, some people may think that we’re no longer moms. And some of those people may even be our own selves. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. As long as you still have breath in your body and you are mothering your child’s spirit and keeping his or her memories alive, thinking about them, remembering them and loving them-you are still a mom. And the best part is–no one and nothing can ever take that away from you. So yes, your child may have passed away-but they were and are because of you and because of them, you were and are still are a mom. I know it hurts, it sucks, it’s sad and it isn’t fair….but at the end of the day, you are still a mom. 

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Junior and me

I pray that every bereaved mom has a peaceful Mother’s Day. That she would do whatever she needs to do to get through the day–cry, scream, shout, spend it with relatives and friends, go to church, relax, sleep or even just quietly reflect on what was or what could’ve been. When others are acknowledging moms on Mother’s Day, they may not know what to say to you. And honestly, them saying Happy Mother’s Day to you may feel awkward to them and awkward to you. And then again, them not saying it is going to probably feel awkward to them and awkward to you too. And unfortunately-there’s no easy way to fix that. But it’s okay to be honest with yourself and honest with them about how you’re feeling. But know that no matter what–if they say it or if they don’t, if you feel it or if you don’t, if you’re sad/angry/mad/hurt or if you’re not and even if you experienced pregnancy/infant or child loss-the fact still remains-you are a mom. A beautiful, strong mom. Happy Mother’s Day. 

By: Danielle Jones

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