A Bereaved Mom’s Message to Bereaved Dads on Father’s Day

Father’s Day for many dads includes playing golf, having a cookout, playing games with his kids, spending time with them through going to church together or doing some other activity or just relaxing and relishing in the fact that he’s a dad. But for some dads, Father’s Day comes with pain and grief because their child has passed away. 

I remember when our son was in the hospital, I was in the hospital too, recovering from my C-section. During that time my husband became Superman for our little family and showed a side of him that I’d never seen before. He’d go between the hospital I was in to visit with me and then he’d rush to the hospital our son was in to visit with him. In fact, over the course of our son’s life, he spent more time with him than anyone else. They had some very special moments that no one else will ever know the intimate details of because my husband made it a point to be there for “his boy” as much as he possibly could. 

I remember when the doctors would say that our son’s vitals were slipping and my husband would “speak life” into his protegee and tell him that he was healthy and that his father loved him. He even made a CD with him speaking those  powerful words over our son and the CD would play 24 hours a day in his hospital room so that our son and anyone who walked into his hospital room would hear his voice encouraging his little guy. 

For the dads whose children have passed away, my heart goes out to you. Just because your child has passed away doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t celebrate Father’s Day. After all, it was the seed that you carried within you long before your wife, girlfriend or significant other was carrying your child, that gave way for the very little person that made you a father. It is because of YOU that moms and families exist. There is no love like a father’s love. He protects and provides, while his love guides, leads and directs. That doesn’t stop when your child passes away, it just looks different. You still get to have those quiet conversations within your heart that only you and your child get to share and you get to choose to make decisions every day that would make your child proud of you. 

Continue to hold your head high, know that your significance as a father will never diminish and enjoy your day. 

Happy Father’s Day
Danielle Nicole Jones

 

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