My child passing away does not change the fact that I’m still a mom. In fact, it never will.
For many women, Mother’s Day and the days that lead up to it bring a multitude of
emotions, especially for bereaved mothers. For some, there is grief, anxiety, anger, sadness, hopelessness, despair, confusion and the feeling of literally being heartbroken. And for many women whose only or whose every pregnancy and/or childbirth experience has ended in a miscarriage or infant loss, Mother’s Day hurts from the pain that comes from these same women questioning their own status, or having others question their status as a mother on a day that celebrates moms.
To the woman who is reading this and who knows what this feels like, I want you to know that living through miscarriage(s), pregnancy loss(es), SIDS, infant death(s) or the death of a child or children doesn’t negate you being a mother. In fact, your experience(s) makes you one of the strongest moms there is. Your ability to remember and honor your child’s or children’s lives after they’ve passed away–even in the midst of heartache and on some days, truly unbearable pain–means that you, my dear, are a mom who has extra-ordinary love and strength in her heart.
On Mother’s Day, and the day leading up to it, I’m asking for all of the moms who have lived through the loss of a child, especially pregnancy or infant loss, to raise awareness about this special group of women by creating a social media status with “#imstillamom.” And if they’re brave, “#momof___” with the number of children who they are a mom to (including their children who they have lost to miscarriage, pregnancy loss, SIDS and infant loss). One-in-four women have suffered that type of loss. And I’m one of them. There are moms around the world who know what this feels like–but they don’t have to walk alone, especially on Mother’s Day. And they need to know that they aren’t alone.
To the mama who is struggling on Mother’s Day because of what she’s lived through–know that the day is still for you. You are still a mom, a mommy, a mama and a mother. Nothing and no one will every change that.
Peace, love, light and blessings.
Danielle Nicole Jones